Swamp Monster

I know.
I have always known.
The way the mountains loom
Over your shoulders
Was the great tip-off.

You have been holding my head under
Water for months, waiting for me to surrender
As my hair turns soft, then cold.
Feel it cling to the spaces between your fingers.

You work at filling my pockets
And socks with smooth stones.
How easily they slip in and appear harmless,
Oh but they feel like thunder.

The vertebrae in my spine knock against each other in the brawl.
What is it you get out of seeing my soggy lungs?

I found a way to float, you thought I had sunk.
You dreamt you could keep me shoved down in that ashen water.

There is too much sorrow that cannot be drowned.
It refuses to go,
But I still can.
And I will pick the leeches from my legs as i leave the water's edge
And let the twilight swallow me whole.

I should be writing a paper but i wrote this instead.

Trust has yanked the trip rope
With the groan of milky eyes
And the stab of the failures of those before.

You have worn me thin through the
Thick of things.
The burn leaves a scar that some will see
And others will brush against.

They say things like a you and an I should
"Stand the test of time"
But time is a curious soul
And you do not stand still long enough.

I hope you know that I would have given you
The sighs in my chest.
It's a shame you didn't have the hands to hold them.
I can feel their absence.

Tears cannot be seen in the snow
Yet blood does not go unnoticed
And I have been bleeding and freezing
As the sun rotates.

Sorry.

Such fragile things you gave me.
A paper crane
And a robin's egg
With delicacy laid at my feet.
Feet belonging to an iron giant.
Clumsy and cold.
I do not always see just what it is
That I am doing.
Only what I have done.
I am broken.
And I am mistaken.
How far I've fallen, deep and fast.
A junkyard at the bottom of a cliff.
So keep the bird in your heart,
Because tin men like me
Should not be trusted
With such treasures.

where the dead walk

Writing at 3:30 am

The second I enter the room my skin
Excuses itself and slinks away.
I stand urging all my effort to find a way
For the wall and I to meld as one.

Bouquets of people, their laughter a cracking vase.
I the murky water, the single black thorn.

The cannibal crowd harbors teeth like knives.
These smiles that terrify.
Their eyes are spears and they will not unpin me.
These gazes that nauseate.

Fragile and frozen I float among them.
Fear is on my breath and sweat is in my step.
The pump in my bonecage becomes like wings in a birdcage,
Warning me of what I've already become.

Sirenum Scopuli

The days s e p a r a t e us,
They pull us apart.
Each moment we are further from each other,
Each moment we are closer to the end.

Together we have broken our glass bottles
And set our ships sailing to separate continents.

You will spin your yarn
And I will spin mine.
Let our hands turn cold,
Let the wind chill our chalky bones.

Our hearts may sink or break against the rocks,
The other cannot know.
You set anchor in such shallow waters
And it has left us with no other choice.

come home in the car you love

Fall '09
North Hollywood

Smart enough to keep my mouth shut, dumb enough to try to fly

Light flickering in the elevator,
A warning of the weakness in your wounds,
The shaking in your shins.
What goes up
Must come down.
Why would you be an exception?

Light projected on pins
Violently dragged to this fine point.
I've been living this way for far too long.

You had died last december
But i saw you resurrected
In the gray heavy heat.

Layers of untruth
peel off
and dig under.
A rotating door,
Still coming and going.
The facts live in cement:
You
Will
Never
Really
Know.

Third Floor

This world of pain exists
and these are my demons that tease and ease me along.
fists beat,
knuckles break
and i cannot fathom how far this crack will run.

My ankles buckle,
but cease to give.
A broken marionette suspended by worn out strings.
I will cut the cords that bind these
hollow hells to fall.

The subtle yet persistent hope seeps in
and fills my bones.
I pray you catch me.

Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

"I felt the Lord begin

to peel off all my skin.

And i felt the weight within

reveal the bigger mess

that you can't fix"

they're not very good

but i enjoyed making them.