She's all i want for Christmas.

and Bob Mould's Black sheets of Rain


-KL

A little bit more
growing out while growing in
changing while i stay the same
This darkened pit becomes more clear

curse those bastards laying in wait
what ever did they make?

the worlds yearking
it's pulling in and down
struggleing like a POW who can't get back to whatever the place he thinks he should be

just a little bit more.
just a little bit.

-Lyon

Hmm, well i just finnished making my first video collage with Pinnacle Studio.
Here it is.

-Cheers

I feel like an outsider looking in.
Like a child, staring at all the ants in the ant farm, living in their community building something together.
The child understands the ants, but the understanding is not reciprocated.

yea, i feel like that child, only I'm also eating mint n chip ice cream while watching the ants.


I guess i just am weird. But aren't we all supposed to be weird?
I bet there was a malfunction in the hospital where i was born and some other kids weirdness somehow ended up all over me when he popped out and now i have extra weird supper powers.




i really want a good pair of Doc Martens.

Reading Balzac

So today was charming. rather blustery.
Got some books from the Iliad.
A new one on Napoleon's last years on the Island of St. Helena.
And of course Balzac's Human Comedy.

"In diving to the bottom of pleasure we bring up more gravel than pearls"
-Balzac


"Books are those faithful mirrors that reflect to our mind the minds of sages and heroes.”

Tomorro i have no class. I am a little dissapointed in this because i enjoy class especially philosophy class (which is now over for the semester).

However tomorro will be grand. I'm going down to the Illiad to peruse and specifically get a copy of Balzac's "La Comédie humaine" or "The Human Comedy". It gives a view of french life in the years after the fall of Napoleon Bonaparte. What a guy.

For the past few weeks i've had the Cat Power song Maybe Not stuck in my head.

This part of the lyrics have really been weighing on my mind:
"We all do what we can
So we can do just one more thing
We can all be free
Maybe not in words
Maybe not with a look
But with your mind"

To me it's such an interesting concept, being free with your mind. At first when i think about "being free" i think of being able to do whatever i want, but being free is so much more than that. It's an inner concept that no one can take away from you no matter what.

I've been thinking about the concept of being free with my mind a lot lately because being a young person for so much of your life you are told what to do and the right things to think and it sometimes feels like you can't escape it. But the truth is, you can.

-Lyon

So, basically, i've been thinking about aloneness.

As long as i can remember i always thought that being alone was a negative thing, but the last few weeks i've come to find that it isn't as negative as i once believed.

I've been spending a lot of time lately on my own, just hanging out with good old me and it has actually been a grand experience. There's something peaceful about just going to the park by myself, or driving down to hollywood to go to the illiad and spending a few hours alone there.


I have come to find that i enjoy my own company.


cheers,
Lyon